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Once upon a time, there lived a small goblin-like creature name Hannarus who lived in a happy little hovel in the land of cocobean. The hovel resembled that of a hobbit hole, however, this story bears no relevance to the hobbit.
Hannarus was quite happy in her hovel. She spent her little goblin lives running around carelessly and enjoying her very unusually life style. You see, Hannarus was a rather odd goblin. Unlike all others, she was very fond of disco dancing. Which was quite strange in the world of goblin, as they were more into kind of headbanging. So Hannarus was seen as a bit of an outsider, at all the meetings of cocobean land if Hannarus tried to join in the daily conversation people would just laugh at her and throw rotten eggplants in her general direction. When she disco danced her way down the streets people would often pelt the poor goblin with moldy old people they picked of near-by trees.
One day after being pelted with a small childlingperson off a shiny yellow tree, Hannarus was starting to feel down about her life. She was fed up of being ostracized because people didn’t understand her way of being. She wanted to go out and explore the world. She wanted to dance the way SHE wanted to, without getting abuse. So Hannarus made her way home, determinedly, and raced through the round door that led into her hovel. She grabbed her shiny blue and pink sequined suitcase and threw a few of her old tattered rags into it. For, you see, it was forbidden for goblins to wear anything but tattered rags, as, to present them with new clothing would grant them certain skills that society tries to oppress from them.
So, Hannarus made her way out into the big wide world. Which, was not a big as she thought, for the land she lived in was actually upon a floating ball in space, orbiting a huge ball of gas burning fiercely. I know, imagine that. How unusual. Anyway, after a long tiresome walk to the biggest city she could find Hannarus was feeling incredibly tired and was starting to regret her decision to go exploring. She sat down on the grassy verge at the side of the road and sighed.
"But I’ve come so far!" she said to her giant pet moleling (a newly introduced character that had followed her from her hovel.) "I can't turn back now. That would just make the story boring!" So Hannarus stood tall, grabbed her suitcase, (that glinted in the fading light and made shiny pink and blue reflections on the road) her and the moleling powerwalked to the nearest creature Hannarus could find. She greeted them with the usual goblin greeting, the licking of the left ear. "Greetings!!" she cried. "I am Hannarus and I’d like to be your friend!" the creature (a large blue pixie) punched Hannarus and ran away. "Well!" she said the moleling "That wasn't very friendly now, was it?! Never mind! I'll find a new friend." And again, off she went. She discoed her way through the city that was getting very dark indeed. Bright neon lights rose high above her on the tall skyscrapers. Music and noise blared from all directions. The city was full of creatures, great and small. Everyone was chatting and laughing, and there were no goblins throwing moldy squidchooose from the pink ungalanga tree at her. In fact, there were no pink ungalanga trees in sight. The smell of fast food and carrots was in the air.
"That's what I’ll do! I’ll get some carrots. I’ve always dreamt of eating those!" (Carrots were forbidden because they cause young goblins to get hyperactive, and grow hair upon the underside of their feet)
TO BE CONTINUED!
HANNARUS THE GOBLIN! (Part 2)
So Hannarus went off, following her nose to the smell of the carrots. As she got closer she could feel her stomach rumbling noisily under her tattered rags.
“Quiet stomach!” She said angrily.
“I’m sorry!” It replied grumpily. “It’s just… the smells! They’re so wonderful! I need feeding Hannarus!”
“Alright!” And she followed her nose towards the smells. As she ran to catch up with her nose, the smell got further away. “NOSE! Come back! You’re going to wrong way!!” She ran faster and faster but the nose got further and further into the distance, until eventually it was nowhere to be seen. “Oh now what am I to do?” She said, tears welling up in her tiny blue speckled eyes. She sat down, defeated, and sobbed her poor little goblin heart out. “Nothing’s going right for me! I may as well just go home!” And with that, she lay down in the astro-turf, buried her face in her hands and cried herself to sleep.
She awoke to bright twinkling daylight and the sound of tiny birds singing in the hologram trees. It was a beautiful morning in the city. The birds however soon stopped singing after a loud “Shut the ‘F’ up” and a rather large bang… not unlike that of a pistol… there was a small tweet and the birds sang no more.
“Hello sun!” Hannarus said, stretching and smiling to herself. “Hello world! What a lovely day, good morning City!” she spun around happily and came face to face with a rather aggravated looking fairy.
“Took your bloody time didn’t you? I was stood poking u with this for at least half an hour! You started sprouting all kinds of weird things!” She said brandishing her wand at Hannarus, who looked mildly surprised at this strange creature, who had indeed cause small fungi and hairs to sprout in unusual places… such as her hands... and ears. There was a moment of silence where Hannarus simply stood staring at the fairy. She was rather short, with long, flowing hot pink hair. She had some sort of metal stud in her lip and a pink and black corseted ball gown, with pink and black baseball boots, that didn’t really go with her dress. And she looked annoyed.
“I,” She started. “Am Emling, your fairy godmother. And I am here to…” she paused and look curiously at Hannarus’ face. “Dear, I hate to tell you this but... you haven’t got a nose.”
Hannarus sighed and shook her head. “I know! I was following him... but he got a bit carried away, and I haven’t seen him since!” She said sadly, with the kind of voice you get when you have a blocked nose.
“Well!” Said Emling. “That can be fixed you know! As amusing as your face is without one, I suppose I am your fairy Godmother and therefore I feel rather compelled. Oh well. Here goes” and she waved her pink wand in the direction of Hannarus, who again stood stunned. There was a lot of pink glitter and Hannarus’ nose appeared, bouncing on the ground in front of her.
“Nose!” She cried happily. “I thought I’d lost you forever! That’s the last time I follow you anywhere! And I didn’t even get my carrots.” Her nose jumped Hannarus’ face and secured herself in the right place.
“Now…” Said Emling. “To get down to business.”
TO BE CONTINUED!
The adventures of Hannarus the goblin part 3
“Now,” Started Emling, placing herself down on a rather large piece of rocky moss. “I’m here for a reason. And that reason is, that I have reason to believe your reasons for coming here are not quite as you thought!” Hannarus took a step back, a blank expression on her face and looked around for the nearest possible escape route. “Oh, my dear, it’s no good trying to get away. You’ll only be caught, and THAT would simply be embarrassing!”
“Eh??” exclaimed Hannarus. With the same puzzled expression on her face.
“Joking! I’m joking!” laughed Emling nervously. “However, I was not joking about the first thing I said.” They sat together as Emling explained to the poor goblin that she had in fact been tricked into coming to the current place in which by a spiteful goblin that had spiked her cherry tea with a drug called “drape-rate” She further went onto explain that the city was not at all where Emling was supposed to be, and that the whole set up was… well... a set up!
Hannarus was horrified! She made various unbelieving noises in the correct places such as “No!”… “He didn’t!”… “Well I never!” and the suchlike.
“Well!” said Hannarus, jumping to her feet. “That simply wont do now will it! Something must be done about it!” She then sat down once more with that all oh so familiar look of pure puzzlement on her face. “But what are we to do Emling? And more to the point… why would anyone want to trap me here?”
“Let me show you…” And with that Emling once more waved her large pink wand in a circle pointing at the floor. A large cloud of smoke rose high in the air, and in the smoke a picture began to form. Hannarus looked intently at the picture. It appeared to be of a small herd of cow like creatures know of coogles. (For you see, rather than the general mooing noise made by the common cow, the coogle emits a noise not too unlike that of a pigeon)
“Change the channel, this is boring!” said Hannarus losing her patience.
“Wait for it!” Emling said smacking her sharply in the thigh with the glitter-filled wand. Immediately large pink and black toadstools sprouted in the same place.
They sat and they watched the smoke as it twisted and turned, creating patterns and shapes with the wispy clouds.
As Hannarus stared harder trying to make out what exactly the coogles were doing, she starting feeling drowsy. Her eyelids were barely open as she watched the coogles twist and turn. All of a sudden Hannarus felt a shudder and jumped in the air. She found herself to be stood in the large field with the coogles, and at her side smiling contently to herself stood Emling.
“Normally that doesn’t work!” She exclaimed. “You’re lucky you didn’t end up trapped in one of the coogles. Try explaining that one to the parents!”
“But… I don’t understand!” Said Hannarus unhappily. “What are we doing here? What could I possibly have done to make someone hate me that much?!”
“Just watch. You’ll soon see.” Emling told the poor disgruntled goblin.
So again, Hannarus watched the coogles floating around the blue-grassed field (for you see, coogles do not walk, they float, and head bang their little hearts out in the air.)
As Hannarus sat in the field and watched, she saw the coogles slowly gathering around a large zigzagged hedge, its spikes pointing to the sky and the coogles each putting their heads between each of the leaved spikes. Another blurred figure began to emerge behind the hedge, and Hannarus heard what it was that had caught the coogles attention; There was the sound of music, getting louder and louder, coming from the direction of the figure.
A spark of recognition went off in Hannarus’ head. “I know that song!” she yelled excitedly
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